shangri-la

shangrila crossing is just a few meters away from office. walking outside this mall always gives me some time to reminisce the past. I don't know if I will smile because i had sweet memories there or I have to cry because those memories will not happen again. i remember it was night when the two of us part ways outside that fancy mall. He was holding me inside his arms and we were planning many things for the future. That was so sweet. Me inside him, he is talking about future, giving me kisses at my forehead and smelling my hair. An experience that is pricless.Something that you can't buy from a glamorous store. I'm in my drama mode again. That is why Im writing every thing here in my sanctuary. I can't help myself to think of this scenario. His smell still lingers. His smile was sweet. But for some reasons and complications in our lives our memories will not happen again. Honestly, I don't want to think of the way we parted ways that night. I have to walk fast and help myself not to look back after i utter the words "Ingat ka". He's not aware that when I said those words I also mean "goodbye" Few months that we had. Few months of care and love. It may look weird but I am always like this. A crazy coward girl whose afraid of commiment. Scared of risking the 'us'. Afraid to jumped in and face the complications that this relationship will bring. Stupid me.. I am not ready to give in. I don't use my heart when I decide, I use my brain. I don't know why Im like that. It is hard to explain. Maybe it is just not the right time.